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| In today’s world, many children are aware of such issues as divorce and some will experience it first-hand. Many children struggle with reading delays in school. How can we reassure children that they aren’t alone, empower them to cope, and encourage communication between children and caring adults? |
Charles W. Eliot, Harvard College President for more than forty years, observed
that “Books are the quietest and most constant of friends: they are the
most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.”
Last time, I talked about how children’s books are an invaluable resource, adaptable to every child and every classroom. What’s more, books are a resource that is as close as your school or library bookshelf.
Good children’s books, books that entertain and illuminate, offer a child a new way of seeing an experience by giving him/her a glimpse through the eyes of a fictional character with whom s/he can identify. Such books, when carefully chosen and shared, offer both ideas for addressing a particular problem as well as ideas about problem-solving generally.
In this article, I focus on two areas in which books can help kids: divorce and school difficulties.
By elementary school, most children are aware that families break up and some of them will have experienced this challenge personally. Books in which children experience a divorce range from books suitable for the youngest of children, in which the characters may be animals and in which the difficult part of the experience focuses on the change in routines. Such books frequently are optimistic in their outlook. For older elementary school children, the themes may include a move, remarriage and/or blended families. Here are some of my favorites. (Please note: some of these are “out-of-print” which means only that you will not be able to purchase new copies. However, used copies are widely available.)
For four to eight-year olds:
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Mom and Dad Break Up, by Joan Singleton
Prestine, illustrated by Virginia Kylberg. McGraw Hill, 2001. 32 pages,
including suggested discussion questions.
The narrator of this simple but poignant story is a young Asian boy who begins by observing, “Some things belong together. Peanut butter and jelly. Bees and honey. Mom and Dad.” But that’s not how it works out in his life. He talks about his angry and sad feelings and how he sometimes takes his feelings out on his friends. The young boy wishes that his parents would reunite and worries that it is his fault. He begins to accept the reality that he can’t fix the problem and that, most importantly, both of his parents still love him. A very good book for exploring the feelings that many children experience and for initiating discussion. |
For seven to ten-year olds:
A Month of Sundays, by Rose Blue, illustrated by Ted Lewin. Franklin Watts, 1972. 59 pages.
Ten-year-old Jeffrey’s parents get divorced. That means a move and a new school for him. Jeffrey’s feelings and adjustment problems are sensitively treated and his relationship with both of his parents is realistically depicted. Despite the age of this book, the story is realistic. A good choice for any child, particularly one whose adjustment includes a move.
Most children’s books about school problems focus especially on reading. For younger children, the emphasis is often on the notion that it isn’t unusual to experience a delay in reading. For older kids, the focus may be on other skills that a child has acquired or on the teasing that a delay in reading may bring.
For five to nine year olds:
Leo the Late Bloomer, by Robert Kraus,
illustrated by Jose Aruego. HarperCollins 1994. 32 pages. Available in
Spanish.
Leo is a sad little tiger because he can’t read, write, draw, or talk. His father worries but his mother calmly reassures him that there’s nothing wrong, it’s just that Leo is a “late bloomer.” His mother asks his father to be patient. “One day, in his own good time, Leo bloomed!” Leo’s pride is evident and the message of being patient with oneself is skillfully conveyed. For a young child, this book may be just the right fit to understand why he will learn to read or write at his own pace. |
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For eight to ten year olds:
The Flunking of Joshua T. Bates, by Susan Shere. Random House, 1995. 96 pages.
Joshua Bates must repeat third grade because of his reading problems. He contends with bullies and teasing about being held back. Fortunately, his teacher is sensitive and helps him gain the admiration of his class by assigning him the task of helping other children in the class. The teacher also helps him with his problem with bullies. Realistic dialogue and a sense of Joshua’s feelings and family interactions make this helpful for late readers.
When an adult uses good children’s fiction to help a child,
the critical element is always the choice of book. You’ll want to find
books with which a child can identify, books that assure a child that s/he is
not alone without sugarcoating the problem. There are many resources to help
you find good books, including websites, your local or school librarian, and
books about children’s books.
Cheryl Coon is the author of Books to Grow With: A Guide to Using the Best Children’s Fiction for Everyday Issues and Tough Challenges (Lutra Press; ISBN 0-9748025-7-3; 2004), the comprehensive guide for teachers, parents, counselors and librarians that recommends over 500 children’s fiction books that portray more than 100 common issues kids face. Visit www.lutrapress.com for more information.
