Yet if you tackle the knotty problems before they escalate, you can avoid some serious problems. Some of life’s hazards should have been explained to us before we went out to face the world. One of them is flooding.

What is Flooding?

Flooding = Adrenaline Overload

Flooding is an adrenaline overload that overwhelms the brain. Suddenly you find yourself saying or doing things that make no sense.

Ever been dashing out the door when you can’t find your keys? You tear the place apart, only to realize your keys are sitting in plain sight right on top of your desk. That’s flooding.

Ever had someone come up to you upset, so incoherent and scattered that after listening for ten minutes you still don’t know what they’re talking about? That’s flooding.

Ever been so mad you can’t talk? So upset you can’t think? So stressed you spend an hour struggling over a simple one-page form? That’s flooding.

It hits the language centers so you suddenly can’t get words out. Your language skills are nowhere to be found. There you are with a college degree, sputtering “What— How— Move it!”

The disconnect comes because flooding affects the parts of the brain that do sequence. This is why upset people tell scrambled stories that loop, double back, bring in facts from another decade and then pointlessly peter out.

You may have the sequence problem strike as you’re wading through government paperwork. You hit instructions like “From box 14a, go to 18c and enter a multiple of line 12b.” You may be a kind, patient person, but suddenly you wish to kill whoever designed that form. This is not like you; but your brain is overloaded, it can’t do sequence, and the result is inarticulate fury.

Jargon can touch off a similar reaction. We’ve all had this happen with computers. Your desktop breaks down, you’re frustrated and fighting panic and someone tells you to check the internal master/slave rotation. You suddenly want blood, and from the very person who’s trying to help you.

You have not lost your mind. You’ve in the midst of a chemical reaction.

This action releases chemicals which counteract adrenaline. A quick walk down the hall, deep breathing, or even isometrics will suddenly clear the mind. Small muscle movements will not do the trick: simple typing will not make you feel better. However, picking up the computer and heaving it through the window....

On a milder note, it works just as well to go outside, especially if you’re feeling besieged. Go for a walk, but make it a fast walk. Work your arms and don’t come back until your head clears.

One principal had a teacher come to her so upset that she couldn’t understand a word he was saying. She handed him a heavy box. He calmed down and got coherent. It was a simple chemical reaction.

If you don’t have a heavy box at hand, tell someone you want to hear them out but ask them to walk with you a bit. Then go up a flight of stairs. Keep climbing until their words slow down and they start making sense. Then talk it over and resolve the problem.

While someone is flooding, you have very little chance of getting them to resolve anything. Once they calm down, your odds are much higher.

Another way to bring someone out of flooding is to slowly, methodically walk them through a sequence. “OK, I want to listen, but tell me what happened first.” Then after that part is clear, ask what happened next. Keep sorting out the details until you see them calm down. Any methodic sequence will do. You can even ask people to spell out their names, or give their different telephone numbers. I’ve had people flooding so badly they couldn’t remember how to spell their own name. It startled them so much they snapped out of it.

Prepare for tough days
Flooding, of course, happens to all of us, but certain situations invite the overload. Stage fright is a form of flooding, as is test anxiety or the butterflies before launching a big project.

An administrator had a meeting with a board member who could instantly set her off. Even thinking of their upcoming meeting would make her head pound and her breath come short. She’d start to fill out the proposal, but her mind went blank. So she deliberately pictured the board member’s face, imagined his voice, and then jogged in place until she started to calm down. Then she went back to the proposal. Soon she’d start flooding again and she jogged to take herself out of it.

By the time she was finished she was no longer flooding, and the paperwork took much less time than normal. The meeting went smoothly (quite unusual for her!) and she only started flooding once. She did isometrics in her chair until she calmed down. He never even noticed.

People have their own ways to head off stress, but sometimes they make the wrong call. One woman would brace herself for a grueling day by stopping off and getting a double espresso. Not a good move: a jolt of caffeine was the last thing she needed. She got herself a milder bribe and found she was less snappish as things intensified.

Andra Medea is a specialist in conflict management who has taught for Northwestern University and The University of Chicago. Her model, The Conflict Continuum, forms the basis of her latest book, Conflict Unraveled: Fixing problems at work and in families. Her work is a valuable tool for administrators, HR professionals, educators, parents, mediators and others who cope with conflict. More information on flooding, conflict management success stories, and other powerful resources can be found at www.pivotpointpress.com.